I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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