You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
