I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
