They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
