This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
