i don't like sucking hair
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
