What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
