C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
