u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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