So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
