Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
