Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he told me I talked like a deaf person
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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