Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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