I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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