Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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