Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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