I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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