Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
