If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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