The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I did not marry a roomba.
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