Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
