phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
