I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
