he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
