Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
you would pick up someone in the library
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
