yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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