Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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