What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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