maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
