Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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