He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
