that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
