At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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