just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
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