So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
