The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
