But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
