You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
