Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
