Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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