I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
