You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
