Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
you never un-have a 4some
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
