i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
