In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
