So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
