I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
