The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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