My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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