if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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