This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
