I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
